More Walking Dead: Why women love Daryl

Why are women so crazy for Daryl?

---asked by a guy friend and fellow Walking Dead fan

This isn't as easy to explain as you would think because none of the conventional reasons apply.  He's handsome, but not unusually so.   He's not remarkably tall or brawny.  He's not a smooth talker; in fact, he speaks in redneck vernacular, which doesn't make most women weak in the knees.  Nor is he an Alpha-style leader.  When he's not operating alone, he's serving as Rick's second-in-command.  As far as his sexual style, the writers haven't given him a love interest so we can only imagine how he'd be between the sheets.  We do lots of imagining.

His appeal goes beyond the bare, muscled arms, the chopper, the tough guy with a tender heart thing--those elements apply to half the men on tv and film.  Nope, Darryl has something more and the only word I can think of to describe it is primal.  He's the type of man who stimulates the primitive responses in every woman because his behavior is also primitive.  This is to say, he is a man who protects and provides.


I don't care that it's 2013 and nor do our primal instincts.  They don't care that the 1970's feminist movement sent the message to generations of women that men are natural oppressors of female power, and that "equality" is achieved only if we turn the tables and oppress them.  Nor do our instincts care about all those sitcoms of the 80's and 90's in which dumb men had to be supervised at every turn by their far-smarter women.  And lastly, they do not care that the You go, girl! mentality of the new millennium encourages women to get down and dirty and behave like men instead of rising above vulgarity like goddesses.  All of those movements are just societal trends.  Adaptation doesn't take societal trends seriously unless they have 1) been in place for a few thousand years, or 2) unless they significantly contribute to a species' success.  All this sniping and one-upmanship between the genders doesn't contribute.  It harms.  Thus, no adaptation is taking place.

For at least 200,000 years, the success of our species has depended partly upon the separate, mutually dependent strengths of both genders.  Men and women have reflexively stepped up where the other is weak, and stepped back where the other is strong.  In other words, we've operated on an "equal but different" premise.  Men protect and provide; women nurture, stabilize, and keep the peace.  Anyone who thinks we have evolved beyond that is either a domineering woman with penis envy or a lazy guy who wants to stay home gaming while his wife goes off to work.  Sorry, folks, it's as simple as that.

If you're still listening, this is where Daryl Dixon comes in.  Women know what kind of guy he is and he's definitely not the one who wants to sit at home.  He's the yang to our yin.  He's the one who fends off danger with his crossbow; the one who brings food home, even if it is speared squirrel.  He's the guy who searched the land for the doomed Sofia; the one who jumped on his chopper to get formula for the motherless newborn.  He's the guy who continually rescues Carol, even picking her up and carrying her back to the safety of the group.  He is the guy every Paleolithic woman would have wanted--the protector, provider, and defender of women and children.

All due respect to the other strong men of the Walking Dead, of course.  However, our ruthless survival instincts have identified some flaws in their worthiness as mates.  Rick is certainly appealing, but he is riddled with angst, and this occasionally impedes his ability to protect the group. 

Burly Shane looked good at first.  After all, when he believed Rick was dead, he took charge of getting his wife and child out of Atlanta.  However, his out-of-control testosterone levels did him in.  He slowly came apart at the seams.  He was unstable and dangerous and that's not a turn-on.

Glen is attractive, but in a little-brother kind of way.  He's swift and smart and likeable.  We collectively applauded when he finally won over equally-likeable Maggie.  However, theirs is a new millennium relationship.  Maggie called most of the shots in their courtship.  When she decided it was time, she did the seducing.  In a Utopian world, one can envision Maggie venturing out to slay the beast and bringing it home for Glen to roast on the fire.  On a more evolved level, we're comfortable with that scenario; however, this kind of man is still unfamiliar to the survival-focused limbic part of our brains.  We approve of Glen, but only if he is someone else's man.  Our man is Daryl. 

Even our more evolved frontal lobes are stimulated by Daryl.  We like that he doesn't allow his personal upsets to interfere with his role as protector of the group.  We like the sleeveless shirts and the scruffy exterior.  We like that he is drawn to quiet, humble, very average Carol, and apparently not to sexy Andrea with her tight jeans and gun lust. 

We like that he's not overtly sweet and sensitive.  You see, we women have become accustomed to being played by men whose goal is to have sex with us.  At one time or another, most of us have fallen for the guy who appears sensitive on the outside but is an emotional brute underneath.  Daryl is the opposite.  He doesn't bother with sweet talk or flattery.  That's just talk, and one thing he doesn't do is talk the sweet talk.  For him, it's all about the walk, and in every single episode, he proves it by walking that manly walk.